Know that old song, "Where Did Our Love Go?" Many women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s are asking, "Where did our sex go?" Loss of desire is common among women in the years before and after menopause. Desire problems peak between ages 35 to 64.
Hormones don't deserve all the blame, though. The causes of lost sex drive are complex. Here are some of the top factors behind "hypoactive sexual desire disorder," and what can be done.
Sex Drive Zapper: Estrogen Changes
Before menopause, your sex drive peaked just before and after you ovulated. But when your periods stop, estrogen dips, and those revved-up days in your cycle are gone.
Menopausal women may respond less to touch, too, and find it harder to get aroused. Less estrogen also means less blood flow to the vagina, and more dryness. So when you do have sex, it can hurt. Who wants sex that feels bad?
What helps: First, stop the pain. Try over-the-counter water-based lubricants. Ask your doctor about prescription medications to fight dryness: There are oral drugs available, as well as vaginal creams, which have fewer side effects than oral hormones.
Traditional hormone replacement therapy doesn't seem to kindle desire for most women. What it can do is ease hot flashes and other symptoms that leave you feeling not-so-sexy.
Sex Drive Zapper: Life Stress
At midlife, many women are deep into a marriage, a job, raising teens, and caregiving. Any of these can amp up stress, and stress puts your sex drive in park. Avoiding sex can, in turn, cause tension with your partner. Low desire is more common in long-term relationships. Because all this happens at once, it may seem like menopause is the cause, but there are many factors.
What helps: Take the focus off intercourse. Spend more time on foreplay and try other kinds of sex play, such as massage and oral sex. Seek out short-term couples counseling when your sex life hits a rough patch.
Sex Drive Zapper: Androgen Changes
In both sexes, desire tends to fall as we get older. Women are two to three times more prone to a drop in desire. In part, blame dropping androgens -- male hormones that are also found in women.
What helps: There's no FDA-approved male hormone therapy for women with sexual problems, but some doctors prescribe creams off-label for some women. The major problem with this type of treatment in women is the side effects, which include acne and excess body and facial hair. Being mindful of diet, sleep, and exercise can help restore libido.
There's good news about aging and sex, too: Time. Many women report feeling an uptick in desire after menopause.
Sex Drive Zapper: Depression -- and Depression Meds
Menopause doesn't cause depression. But women do get it more than men, and the peak years --between ages 40 and 59 -- coincide with menopause. Since your whole body is a sex organ, when depression sends body chemicals out of whack, desire is affected, too.
It doesn't help that some common antidepressants can mute desire and slow sexual response. Many women who are not depressed are prescribed these types of drugs for hot flashes and other menopause symptoms. Though the pills fix these problems, they can make desire tank.
What helps: See a doctor about treating depression with both pills and talk therapy. Some antidepressants cause fewer sexual side effects.
Sex Drive Zappers: Other Factors in Your Head and Body
If graying hairs, sore muscles, and dry skin make you see yourself as "old," you're less apt to see yourself as "hot."
Women may also blame menopause for a low sex drive when other health problems are the real cause. Common culprits: Bladder problems, underactive thyroid, and iron-deficiency anemia.
What helps: Get a medical checkup to make sure there's nothing else going on. As for self-esteem, don't believe that only a svelte starlet can be sexy. Treat your body well, making time for self-care and time for sex.
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SOURCE: http://www.webmd.com/menopause/menopause-and-sex-13/sex-drive-and-menopause?page=2
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